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Strategies for Divorcing a Narcissist


It’s no secret that divorcing a narcissist is a difficult legal endeavor for a number of reasons – but the biggest reason this situation usually proves taxing is because a narcissist is a manipulative being who can also be highly magnetic, friendly, loving, and successful. They often skillfully twist the situation, so you may actually start to believe that something is wrong with you for wanting to divorce them. Additionally, because of those who do not know your soon-to-be ex-spouse well, you may begin to feel some pressure to “make it work” because your spouse seems “so great.”

However, at Buckhead Family Law, we understand that divorcing a narcissist can be an exhausting, but necessary, process. Because of the nature of their personality, we know that you may need to take a few additional steps and adopt better strategies than you would if you were to divorce a “normal” person.

Forgive Yourself for Choosing A Narcissist

Narcissists pride themselves on being good liars and manipulators, so don’t think there is something wrong with you for choosing to marry a narcissist. The problem doesn’t fall on you, but rather on your partner. Do not allow them to gaslight you into thinking that you have done something wrong.

In order to get through the next few months (or years) of your life, you need to understand that you may have been misled and forgive yourself for choosing this person. It may take a long time to trust your taste in partners again (which is completely understandable), but you will get there: don’t lose faith.

Ensure You Get Your Facts Straight

If you are divorcing a narcissist, you will need to always be a couple steps ahead – so, you’ll need to think about the legal actions you want to take before you announce them to your spouse. A narcissist will likely try to stop you from getting the documentation you need, so make sure to gather the information you need as soon as possible. This may include financial records, business papers, home ownership documents, child custody information, and more. At Buckhead Family Law, we can help you with each of these steps. You are never alone in this process.

Be proactive and resourceful. You can find a long list of things that you need to collect before you file for divorce and make a few copies of them. You can choose to make hard copies and keep them in a safety deposit box or in your office, or you can also scan and upload them somewhere safe online to protect yourself. Remember, you and your attorney can take steps to see that you have control over the divorce process and timeline.

Seek the Legal Guidance of An Experienced Divorce Lawyer

Narcissists are very crafty and clever (and they know it), so divorcing a narcissist requires legal expertise that you most likely don’t have. Retaining the legal expertise of a lawyer is an important first step to take to ensure you don’t get taken advantage of.

Narcissists are often able to spot other narcissists, so your trouble may be two-fold. You may be dealing with a narcissist who has also hired a narcissist for a lawyer.

Be Prepared for the Fallout

Unfortunately, divorcing a narcissist means that you may have to deal with the effects of the divorce for a long time. Narcissists don’t like it when someone attacks their personality or hurts their reputation. You may feel like they are constantly keeping track of your life, and they may talk about you behind your back.

It is best to be completely open and honest with those closest to you, so they know what type of person your ex-spouse was, and so they don’t believe anything that person says. It may also help to seek the guidance of a therapist because they will help you to see through the narcissist’s lies and not allow them to manipulate your self-esteem.

If you had children, be sure to protect them as much as possible. You may want to come up with a plan for what happens when your ex speaks badly about you or doesn’t do things that are in the best interest of the children. Again, being proactive when divorcing a narcissist is key.

Need Help Divorcing A Narcissist?

We understand that divorcing a narcissist can be a difficult mountain to climb, especially because he or she will most likely cause you to question yourself and your decision-making abilities. However, the good news is that many of the questions you have can be answered with the help of an expert divorce lawyer in Georgia.

At Buckhead Family Law, our experienced legal team can help you make decisions and move through the sometimes contentious waters of divorce as smoothly as possible. We are here to assist you and help this be a positive turning point for your family as you move forward with your life. Schedule a consultation today by calling at 404-600-1403.

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